Ask the Reluctant Puritan

People seemed to be fascinated by advice columns, so I have decided to start one of my own. But since no one in their right mind would actually send me a letter asking for my advice, I’ve decided to steal letters from other advice columnists…

From Ask Amy

DEAR AMY RELUCTANT PURITAN: I am a 16-year-old girl and consider myself to be a decently attractive, intelligent, kind person.
I have never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. It has never bothered me that much before because I have always filled up my time with extracurricular activities and hanging out with friends.
I have started to wonder if this is abnormal or weird.
My relatives always ask if I have a boyfriend, and I have to tell them no. It makes me feel as if something is wrong with me.
I am attracted to guys, and I’ve had several crushes, but I am also kind of shy and not very good at talking to boys.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I a hopeless case? – DATELESS IN FLORIDA

(See Amy’s Answer here)

Dear DATELESS: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!! You’re only 16. You shouldn’t even be in another room with a boy much less kiss one. Sorry, I have two daughters, and, well, maybe I got a little carried away. But seriously, Dateless, things may seem bleak from your perspective, but they will get better. I don’t think I ever even looked a girl in the eye until I was 17, and I married the most beautiful woman in the world. Good luck, and don’t worry.

The Reluctant Puritan is Kevin Jones, a guy who has absolutely no experience or business giving advice to anyone. He hasn’t even earned a doctorate in a completely unrelated subject. Ask the Reluctant Puritan will appear erractically weekly on this webpage.


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